Episode 5: The Balance of Masculine and Feminine Energy

🎧 Listen Now

Episode Summary

Ever feel like you have to be tougher, louder, or more “in control” just to be taken seriously as a leader?

Or maybe you’ve swung the other way—over-giving, people-pleasing, and constantly putting others before yourself—until you’re completely drained.

Full Episode Transcript

Today, we’re exploring the balance of masculine and feminine energy.

And before we go further, let me be really clear—this has nothing to do with gender. Masculine and feminine energies exist in all of us, regardless of who we are. These are universal forces that shape our decision-making, our leadership style, and even how we approach rest, work, and relationships.

If you’ve ever felt completely exhausted, like you’re pushing so hard and nothing feels easy anymore, chances are you’ve been leaning too heavily into masculine energy. And if you’ve ever felt stuck, waiting for the perfect moment or feeling lost in indecision, you might be caught too much in your feminine.

This episode is all about finding that sweet spot. We’re going to explore what masculine and feminine energy actually are, how they play out in everyday life and leadership, and most importantly—what happens when they’re out of balance. We’ll also look at real-life examples of people who have gotten this balance very wrong, and I’ll give you practical ways to bring yourself back into alignment so you can lead with clarity, ease, and flow."

Understanding Yin & Yang – The Natural Flow of Energy

Before we bring this into leadership, I want to take a step back and talk about one of the most ancient understandings of energy balance: the concept of Yin and Yang.

This idea comes from Chinese philosophy, and it teaches that everything in the universe exists in a balance of two complementary energies. Yin is soft, fluid, and receptive—just like the feminine. Yang is structured, active, and strong—just like the masculine. You can think of it like night and day. The night is Yin—it’s dark, still, and restful. The day is Yang—it’s bright, energetic, and full of action.

Neither is better than the other. They work together.

Think about the rhythm of breathing. When you inhale, that’s Yang—it’s an active motion, your chest expands, your body fills with oxygen. When you exhale, that’s Yin—it’s a release, a softening, a surrender. You can’t only inhale. And you can’t only exhale. Without both, you’d suffocate.

Or think about the seasons. Summer is Yang—vibrant, hot, fast-moving. Winter is Yin—quiet, introspective, a time to slow down and restore. If we only had summer, the earth would burn up. If we only had winter, nothing would grow.

So when we bring this back to us as individuals, the same principle applies. If we are always pushing, always grinding, always forcing, we burn out. If we are always waiting, always flowing with no direction, nothing ever gets done. The key is knowing when to lean into each energy, because every situation calls for a different approach."*

How These Energies Show Up in Leadership

Now, when we bring this into leadership, we see these energies playing out in very specific ways.

Masculine energy in leadership is decisive. It’s the part of you that says, ‘This is the goal, and here’s how we’re going to get there.’ It’s focused on structure, discipline, and execution. It’s the energy that keeps things moving forward, that holds strong when challenges arise, that provides direction and clarity.

Feminine energy in leadership, on the other hand, is all about flow and intuition. It’s the part of you that listens first, that senses what’s needed before jumping into action. Feminine leadership is deeply collaborative, adaptive, and creative. It allows for innovation, emotional intelligence, and space for people to contribute their own ideas.

Great leaders use both. They make bold decisions, but they also listen first. They create structure, but they also allow for creativity and flexibility. But when a leader gets stuck in too much of one energy, that’s when problems start.

The Dangers of Imbalance – When Leaders Get It Wrong

One of the biggest traps leaders fall into is overusing their masculine energy. This happens all the time in high-pressure environments, where the culture rewards hard work, hustle, and sacrifice above all else.

A great example of this is Elon Musk. Now, there’s no denying that Musk is an incredibly successful leader. His ability to execute bold ideas, push boundaries, and take action fearlessly is a textbook example of masculine energy at its best. But here’s where things get out of balance—he’s also known for having unrelenting expectations, working around the clock, and demanding that from his employees.

At Tesla and SpaceX, employees have reported toxic work conditions, unrealistic deadlines, and extreme pressure to perform. Musk has publicly stated that he sleeps on the factory floor, that he expects his team to work long hours, and that if they can’t handle it, they shouldn’t be there. That’s an example of masculine energy gone too far. The constant push, force, and action without rest or intuition creates a culture of burnout. And while Tesla and SpaceX have been incredibly successful, they’ve also had major turnover, employee dissatisfaction, and intense burnout cycles because there’s no balance.

On the other side, we have leaders who get stuck in too much feminine energy—where there’s an inability to make firm decisions, no clear structure, and a lack of accountability.

Take Adam Neumann, the former CEO of WeWork. Neumann had an incredible vision for what WeWork could be. He dreamed of revolutionizing the way people work, creating community-driven workspaces that felt inspiring and alive. And for a while, the company soared. But there was a massive problem—Neumann lacked structure, discipline, and financial responsibility.

He spent lavishly on unnecessary things, made impulsive decisions, and failed to create the structure necessary to sustain WeWork’s growth. Investors poured billions into the company, believing in his vision, but without the grounding, execution-focused energy of the masculine, WeWork collapsed. The company overexpanded too fast, racked up billions in losses, and ultimately, Neumann was forced out as CEO.

Both of these examples show what happens when leaders ignore one of these energies. Musk leans too far into force, execution, and control, without space for intuition, people-first leadership, or balance. Neumann leaned too far into vision, inspiration, and creativity, without enough strategy, planning, and direction.

And that’s the real lesson—when you ignore one of these energies, something will eventually collapse."

Bringing Yourself Back into Balance

So, how do you know if you’re out of balance?

If you’re pushing too hard, feeling exhausted, micromanaging everything, you need to bring in more feminine energy—take a step back, trust your team, and create space for ideas to flow.

If you’re stuck in indecision, waiting for the perfect moment, feeling lost, you need more masculine energy—set a clear goal, take action, and create structure.

And the easiest way to shift your energy? Start small. If you need more masculine energy, set a timer for 10 minutes and take action on something you’ve been hesitating on. If you need more feminine energy, take a 10-minute walk without a destination and let your mind wander.

Balance is a practice. The more you bring awareness to these energies, the more naturally they will align.

The Woman Who Felt She Had to Lead Like a Man

I want to share a scenario with you—one that so many women will relate to.

Imagine you work in a high-powered corporate environment, surrounded by men in leadership. From the moment you step into your role, you feel an unspoken pressure to prove yourself.

You see how the men in the room operate—they are bold, assertive, direct, and at times, even aggressive. They speak over each other in meetings, make decisions quickly without much discussion, and showed very little emotion.

To fit in, you started playing by their rules. You speak louder, interrupt more, keep your emotions in check, and make sure to never appear "too soft." Over time, you become just like them—efficient, strong-willed, always in control.

But there is a problem. You are exhausted.

You feel like you are constantly in battle mode—always having to prove your authority, always having to be on guard. The harder you push, the more resentful you become.

You start losing connection with your team. People don’t come to you with their ideas as often.

You notice that when you speak, people follow your orders—but they aren’t truly engaged.

And one day, something clicks. You realise that you have spent so much time trying to lead like the men around you that you have completely abandoned your natural leadership style.

Does this resonate at all so far? Either now or in the past?

And then here’s where I’m hoping this story heads….

Then, you did something radical.

You start leaning back into your feminine energy.

You listen more. You slow down.

You let your team speak before jumping in with your own opinions. You start leading with curiosity instead of control.

And something incredible happens—your leadership becomes stronger.

Because you stop trying to compete with the men around you and started leading differently, you build something those men never had—trust and loyalty.

Your team started performing better. They are more engaged, more committed, and more creative—because you created an environment where they felt seen, heard, and valued.

You were still just as powerful, just as respected, and just as effective—but now, it isn’t coming from a place of force. It is coming from genuine leadership.

And here’s the irony—because you embrace your feminine energy, you actually become a better leader than the men you were competing with. While they remain stuck in command-and-control leadership, you are building influence, connection, and buy-in.

This is proof that feminine energy is not weak—it is one of the greatest leadership superpowers there is.

When women feel like they have to lead like men to be taken seriously, they actually limit their own potential. You need to embrace the full spectrum of your power.

And this doesn’t just apply to women. Men, too, benefit from embracing their feminine energy—because a leader who can blend decisiveness with emotional intelligence, structure with creativity, strength with compassion—that’s the kind of leader who changes the game.

So, if you’ve ever felt like you have to be "tougher" to succeed—I challenge you to lean into your natural strengths instead. Feminine energy is not a liability. It is your advantage.

So this week, ask yourself:

• Where have I been suppressing my natural energy to fit in?

• Where can I start leading in my own way, instead of trying to match someone else’s energy or style?

Because when you own your authentic leadership, you don’t just succeed—you inspire everyone around you to do the same.

The Moment I Realised Balance Was Everything

Before we wrap up, I want to share a personal story—because this topic isn’t just theoretical for me. It’s something I’ve experienced in a very real, very confronting way.

About 18 months ago, I was in a senior leadership role within a traditionally hierarchical organisation. Now, throughout my life, I’ve always leaned more into my masculine energy—

I’m naturally self-motivated, I work hard, I get things done, and if something needs to happen, I’ll take charge. That’s just always been who I am. My background in policing only reinforced that even more.

So stepping into this leadership role, I thought, I know how to handle high-pressure environments. I can do this. But six months in, I was feeling completely overwhelmed—not because I wasn’t capable, but because I was drowning in masculine energy.

It wasn’t just from the men around me—it was many of the women too. The culture was relentless, transactional, and always about pushing forward, no matter the cost. Strategy this and strategy that, I needed to be in 4 places at once, respond to every question and issue, make big decisions quickly, but make sure to spend lots of time on the ground to understand the operational environment.

I had never struggled with masculine energy before, but this time was different. This time, I felt burdened by it. I felt completely depleted of my feminine side, and the worst part? I wasn’t even sure I knew how to access it anymore.

And then, something happened that changed everything.

Just before I finished in that role, I went on a retreat with my good friends Anna and Kelly from Nourish Connect Thrive. And I just want to take a moment to give them a huge shoutout because these two women are doing incredible work helping other amazing women reconnect with themselves. I’ll link to their podcast in the show notes, so if you’re looking for a space to nourish and recharge, definitely check them out.

This was actually my second time attending their retreat, but this time felt different. I wasn’t expecting it, but the theme of masculine and feminine energy was hitting me in the face at every turn.

Now, mind you, this wasn’t even the theme of the retreat itself—it was just what kept coming up for me, over and over again. Every activity, every conversation, every prompt we explored—it all led me back to the same realisation: I was completely disconnected from my feminine energy, and I needed to get it back.

At first, I resisted. I was shut off, guarded, and to be honest, I kept thinking, Maybe I’m just not cut out for that role. Maybe I’m not the leader I thought I was. I had started convincing myself that because I hated how the over-masculine energy felt, it must mean I wasn’t meant for that level of leadership.

But then, as the retreat went on, something started shifting.

By the end of those three days, I felt freer, lighter, and more open. I wasn’t just thinking about feminine energy—I was feeling it. And what felt crazy to me? The other women on retreat noticed it before I did.

On the very last morning of the retreat, just after breakfast, I was standing outside next to the table, just soaking up the sun. I was in a simple t-shirt and cut-off denim shorts—just feeling relaxed, comfortable, no pressure. And one of the women, Julie, this amazing, strong, beautiful soul, looked at me and said, "You are completely in your feminine energy right now."

And I just stared at her. What?

I felt like I was just bumming around, waiting for the next session to start. I wasn’t "doing" anything. I wasn’t pushing, planning, leading. I was just there.

And she smiled at me and said, "Yes, right now, right here, your feminine energy is pouring out of you. That role you’ve been doing—it’s not that you aren’t cut out for it. It’s that they aren’t cut out for you."

And that was it. That was the moment when it all clicked for me.

It wasn’t that I couldn’t handle leadership.

It wasn’t that I wasn’t strong enough or assertive enough.

It was that I had been suffocating an entire part of myself to fit into a culture that wasn’t aligned with who I truly was.

At that moment, I had balance. I was fully in my own energy, and I was seen for exactly who I was.

And ever since then, I’ve noticed something—whenever I find myself in an environment that is too masculine or too feminine, it doesn’t feel right. I feel off-balance, like something is missing.

And here’s the thing about balance—it doesn’t mean a perfect 50/50 split all the time. It means knowing when to lean into one energy and when to call on the other. There are moments when stepping into masculine energy is exactly what’s needed—when decisions have to be made, when structure needs to be put in place, when things need to get done.

And there are moments when feminine energy is the key—when listening is more powerful than speaking, when creativity is the answer, when flow leads to the best outcomes.

You need both.

And my hope is that by sharing this story, you’ll take a moment to reflect on your own experiences.

Can you think of a time when you’ve been in an environment that felt too much of one energy?

Have you ever felt like you had to suppress part of yourself to fit in?

And what would it feel like to give yourself permission to lead in your own way?

Because I promise you this—the moment you stop forcing yourself to fit into someone else’s version of leadership and start leading from your own energy, everything changes.

And that is where true leadership begins.

You don’t have to force your way forward all the time. And you don’t have to sit back and wait for things to come to you. Leadership is a dance between action and intuition, structure and flow, power and presence.

Final Thoughts

So this week, I encourage you to reflect on your own energy balance. Ask yourself:

• Am I leading in a way that feels natural to me, or am I trying to fit into someone else’s model?

• Where am I pushing too hard, and where am I holding back?

• What’s one small shift I can make to bring myself back into balance?

And I’d love to hear your thoughts or stories on which energy do you tend to lean into more?

Have you ever felt like you had to suppress part of yourself to be taken seriously as a leader?

📌 Mentioned in the episode: Kelly & Anna at Nourish Connect Thrive

Connect & Continue the Conversation

📍 Follow me on Instagram: @freshcollective_il

🌎 Connect in the Fresh Collective Community

🌟 Join The Natural Leader Hub – Opening Soon!

💬 What resonated with you most in this episode? Comment below or message me on Instagram—I’d love to hear your thoughts!

👉 If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review! It helps more leaders like you find this podcast and start leading in a way that feels right.