Episode 6: Are you holding on too tight? How to stop micromanaging and lead with trust

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Episode Summary

Have you ever felt like you're gripping onto control so tightly that it’s actually making things harder instead of easier? Like no matter how much effort you put in, you’re still exhausted, frustrated, and stuck?

The truth is, the more we try to force things, the more resistance we create. Whether it’s in leadership, business, or life, there’s a huge difference between leading with trust and gripping onto control.

Full Episode Transcript

Have you ever felt like you were holding on too tight?

Like no matter how much effort you put in, things just wouldn’t go the way you wanted? Maybe you’ve been gripping so hard—onto control, onto expectations, onto being right—that it’s actually making things worse instead of better.

What if the secret to better leadership… was actually learning to let go?

As leaders, we’re often taught that control equals success. We think that if we manage every detail, make every decision, and ensure everything is done exactly as we envision it, then we’ll get the best results. But here’s the paradox—the tighter we hold on, the more resistance we create.

When we lead with control, we suffocate creativity. When we insist on being right, we close ourselves off to new possibilities. When we grip too tightly onto our expectations, we miss out on the magic that happens when we allow things to unfold naturally.

And I get it. Letting go can be terrifying.

So today, I want to take you on a journey—a shift from control to trust, from rigid thinking to wisdom, from gripping onto outcomes to leading with confidence in the unknown.

The Trap of Holding on Too Tight

Let’s start with something we’ve all experienced—the pressure to make sure everything is done exactly right.

Think about a leader who micromanages their team. They feel like they have to oversee every decision, approve every email, and monitor every task because they don’t trust their employees to get it right.

At first, it might seem like this level of control ensures quality and efficiency. But over time, the effects start to show—the team becomes disengaged, creativity is stifled, and people stop taking initiative because they know they’ll just be overruled anyway.

Have you ever worked under someone like this? The kind of leader who refuses to let go, who thinks they have to personally handle everything? It’s draining. It kills motivation. It hurts the team and it burns out the leader too.

Real Example: Howard Schultz & Starbucks

A great example of this in action is Howard Schultz, the former CEO of Starbucks.

Schultz built Starbucks into a global empire, but when he stepped away, the company started to struggle. When he returned in 2008, he was determined to fix things—but instead of leading with trust, he fell into the trap of control.

He took over every aspect of decision-making, personally overseeing menu changes, branding, and even the company’s coffee-making techniques. His belief was that only he knew how to restore Starbucks to its former glory.

The problem? He was holding on too tight.

His micromanagement stifled innovation, frustrated his team, and created a culture where employees didn’t feel trusted to do their jobs. Starbucks stagnated. Growth slowed. Schultz had some lessons to learn.

When he finally stepped back and let others step up, Starbucks flourished again. The company regained momentum because he let go.

So let’s bring this back to you—where in your leadership are you gripping too tightly? What would happen if you let go, even just a little bit?

I know for me, letting go means empowering my team to make the big decisions but being there for guidance if they want it.

Shifting into Trust—Leading with Confidence in the Unknown

The antidote to control is trust.

Trust doesn’t mean stepping back entirely—it means recognising that things don’t have to go exactly as you planned for them to be successful. It means trusting your team and trusting yourself.

But I know… letting go is easier said than done.

So here’s what I want you to do: Think of a time in your life where things unfolded perfectly, even though they didn’t go according to plan.

Maybe you lost an opportunity, only to find something better. Maybe a failure redirected you to something greater. Maybe letting go of control actually created more success than you ever imagined.

Great leaders don’t force things into place. They trust. They adapt. They allow.

When you shift from control to trust, you will feel lighter. Your decision-making becomes clearer. And your team starts to step up in ways you never expected.

The Danger of Rigid Thinking—Why Seeing the Bigger Picture Matters

Now let’s talk about something else that holds leaders back—the need to be right.

I bet you know someone whose battled with this one!

Being able to analyse and recognise patterns is an important skill in leadership, but when taken too far, it can turn into rigid thinking.

This happens when leaders become so attached to their perspective that they refuse to see other possibilities.

Ever worked with a leader who refuses to listen to new ideas? Someone who insists their way is the only way, shutting down feedback and innovation?

That kind of thinking creates stagnation instead of growth.

Real Example: Blockbuster vs. Netflix – The Cost of Holding onto the Past

One of the most infamous leadership failures in business history is what happened to Blockbuster—and its refusal to see beyond its own perspective.

Back in the early 2000s, Blockbuster was the king of movie rentals. With thousands of stores across the world, they were dominant, confident, and deeply attached to their existing model.

Then along came Netflix—a small but innovative company that offered DVDs by mail. Netflix approached Blockbuster in 2000 with an offer to partner with them or buy them outright for just $50 million.

Blockbuster’s leadership team laughed them out of the room.

Their CEO at the time, John Antioco, believed that Netflix’s model was a niche trend that would never take off.

Why?

Because he was too attached to the “proven” way of doing things.

Instead of seeing the future of digital streaming, he doubled down on late fees and brick-and-mortar stores.

For a while, this rigid thinking didn’t seem like a problem—Blockbuster still had millions of loyal customers. But then, technology evolved. Streaming became the new way people consumed content.

By the time Blockbuster finally realised they needed to adapt, it was too late.

In 2010, Blockbuster filed for bankruptcy. Meanwhile, Netflix grew into a $100+ billion company.

Why?

Because Netflix saw the bigger picture, while Blockbuster’s leadership team was stuck in old thinking.

The real lesson here? The most dangerous words in leadership are, “But this is how we’ve always done it.”

This phrase would have to be one of my biggest pet peeves. I fucking hate it. It’s usually people being lazy or too fearful to try something new, even if the new thing could be friggen amazing!

When leaders or anyone for that matter, refuse to adapt, refuse to listen, and refuse to see beyond their own viewpoint, they set themselves—and their teams or community—up for failure.

The best leaders? They don’t cling to what worked in the past.

They open up to new possibilities, new ways of thinking, and new ways of leading.

And not to toot my own horn, but that’s exactly what we’re trying to do here at Fresh Collective. Inspire new ideas, new ways of thinking, and new ways of leading. Don’t be afraid of change. Embrace it, if you have the far-sightedness to see how incredible it could be.

If you want to dive deeper into these new ways, then get on the waiting list for The Natural Leader Hub. I’ll add the link to the show notes.

Practical Steps for Letting Go and Stop Micromanaging

Letting go of control doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process—one that requires intention, awareness, and practice. If you’ve been used to handling everything yourself, making every decision, or ensuring every little thing runs exactly how you want it to, this shift might feel uncomfortable at first.

But trust is like a muscle—the more you use it, the stronger it gets.

Here are a few practical ways to start letting go of control and stepping into trust—whether it’s in your leadership, your business, or even your personal life.

Start Small—Choose One Area to Let Go of First

The idea of completely relinquishing control might feel overwhelming. That’s why it’s important to start small.

Instead of trying to change everything at once, pick one area where you can practice releasing control and trusting others—or the process—just a little more.

Maybe it’s something at work:

Instead of reviewing every single detail of a project, let your team take the lead on a small decision and see how it plays out.
If you usually micromanage deadlines, allow a little more flexibility and see if your team still meets expectations.

Or maybe it’s something in your personal life:

If you’re always the one planning outings, dinners, or family trips, hand the responsibility over to someone else—even if they do things differently than you would.
If you constantly worry about how things “should” go, practice sitting back and observing how they unfold naturally.

The goal is to test your ability to trust in small ways—because once you see that the world doesn’t fall apart when you let go, it becomes easier to do it in bigger areas.

Reframe Uncertainty

One of the biggest reasons we hold onto control is because we fear the unknown. Our brains are wired to crave certainty. When we don’t know what’s going to happen, we assume the worst—we think, If I don’t handle this myself, something will go wrong.

But Uncertainty isn’t always a bad thing.

In fact, some of the best opportunities, ideas, and breakthroughs happen because things didn’t go as planned.

Instead of seeing uncertainty as a threat, start training yourself to see it as possibility. Ask yourself:

What if this works out even better than I expected?
What if releasing control actually brings new, unexpected solutions?
What if letting go gives someone else the chance to step up and shine?

The way you frame uncertainty shapes how you experience it. If you see it as a problem, you’ll resist it.

If you see it as an opportunity, you’ll welcome it.

Give Yourself a ‘Trust Challenge’ for One Week

If letting go of control feels too abstract, make it tangible by giving yourself a challenge.

For the next week, whenever you feel the urge to step in, micromanage, or take control, try this instead:

Pause for 10 seconds before reacting.
Ask yourself: Do I really need to take control here, or am I just uncomfortable with uncertainty?
If the answer is no, I don’t actually need to control this, step back and let things unfold.

At the end of the week, reflect on what happened:

Did anything fall apart without your intervention?
Did things turn out just fine (or even better) when you trusted others?
Did you notice a shift in your stress levels or energy?

This experiment will help you see in real time that control isn’t always necessary—and that sometimes, letting go actually leads to better outcomes.

Ask for New Perspectives—Break Free from ‘My Way is the Best Way’ Thinking

If you’re someone who struggles with releasing control, there’s a good chance you also like doing things your way—and believe your way is the best way.

But what if it’s not?

One of the best ways to loosen your grip is to actively seek out different perspectives before making a decision.

Next time you’re about to assert your way as the only way, pause and ask:

How would someone else approach this?
What would happen if I tried a completely different method?
What if my way isn’t actually the most effective?

By making space for alternative ideas, you open yourself up to new solutions that you might not have considered before.

And over time, this practice helps shift you from controlling leader to collaborative leader.

Create a ‘Let Go’ List

One of my favourite practices is to create a ‘Let Go’ List because it helps make control vs. trust visible.

Grab a piece of paper and make two columns:

Column 1: Things I Can Control
Column 2: Things I Can’t Control

Under things you can control, write down everything that is truly within your power—your actions, your mindset, your communication, your boundaries.

Under things you can’t control, write down everything that stresses you out but is ultimately out of your hands—how others react, what people think of you, the unexpected obstacles that pop up.

Then, make a conscious decision to let go of everything in Column 2.

This helps you recognise that worrying about things outside your control doesn’t make them any better. It only drains your energy and takes your focus away from what actually matters.

Final Thoughts

So here’s what I want you to reflect on:

Where are you holding on too tightly?
Where are you clinging to being right instead of seeing the bigger picture?
What would shift if you trusted more, instead of forcing outcomes?

You don’t need to be the smartest person in the room. You need to create space for wisdom to emerge.

So this week, I invite you to let go just a little.

Release control.

Trust the process.

And See what shifts.

And if this resonates with you, get in touch. I’d love to hear how this week’s insights are showing up for you.

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