Ep 11 - Burned Out & Stuck? How the Messy Middle Can Lead You Back to Yourself

Burned out and stuck? How the messy middle can lead you back to yourself

🎧 Listen Now

Episode Summary

Ever felt like you’re stuck in the in-between?

Not where you were… but not quite “there” yet either?

This one’s for the woman who’s been leading hard, giving everything, and secretly wondering:

✨ Is this really it?

✨ Why am I so exhausted when I’m doing “everything right”?

✨ Is it burnout — or is something deeper shifting in me?

Full Episode Transcript

This episode is for the person who’s feeling like…they’re in the middle of a life or leadership shake-up.

You’re not where you used to be —but you’re also not totally sure where you’re going.

And if you’re being honest, everything kind of feels… messy.

Not necessarily broken. Not terrible.

Just… unclear.

Wobbly.

Uncomfortable.

Like the ground beneath you is shifting, but you don’t know what it’s shifting into yet.

And I want you to know something — if that’s you, this episode is going to feel like a deep exhale.

Because this in-between space — this chaotic, undefined, uncertain season —

is not wrong.

You’re not lost.

You’re not behind.

You’re actually being alchemised.

In this episode, I’m going to share a personal story of when I felt completely disoriented and unsure of what was next —and how that season of mess led to my most powerful clarity yet.

We’ll talk about what it really means to surrender to the messy middle…how transformation works beneath the surface…and why trusting the unknown is actually a huge leadership skill.

So take a breath, pour a cup of something warm, and let’s drop in.

So, I want to share a bit of my own story — because this whole topic of “the messy middle”...I know it.

Not just as a coach or a guide… but because I’ve lived it. More than once.

This particular moment was maybe the most potent — and the most frustrating.

I have briefly mentioned it before, so if you’ve been listening to previous episodes this may sound familiar.

I was working in a senior leadership role.

And I was good at it. Like, really good.

I’d built strong relationships, I knew what I was doing, and I was delivering.

But… I was so tired.

Deeply, emotionally tired.

And I could feel that something in me was starting to shift.

I didn’t want to do this forever.

I didn’t feel lit up anymore.

I felt like I was spending so much energy just keeping everything afloat — trying to be the strong leader, the fixer, the reliable one — all while my soul was screaming, “This isn’t it.”

So I did what most of us do — I started looking outside of myself.

I was scrolling job ads late at night. Signing up for alerts. Searching LinkedIn.

You know that feeling — hoping something jumps off the page and gives you direction.

But the more I looked, the more deflated I felt.

Everything just felt like more of the same.

Same structures. Same expectations. Same pressure. Different label.

Still, there was this one internal role I’d had my eye on.

It was a step up — a more senior role — and it looked interesting. So I went for it.

Made it to the final round. And then…

I came second.

And look, I’m not gonna lie — that stung a bit.

I’d only ever missed out on one other role before that in my entire career, so it really hit my ego.

But now, with a bit of hindsight? That was divine intervention.

That role didn’t end up working out for anyone, and it would’ve taken me even further from my truth.

But at the time, I was still very much in that “maybe I just need to try harder” energy.

So when I got offered the opportunity to try out for a similar role — more operational, but focused on leadership — I took it.

I thought, Okay, maybe this is it. Maybe this is the role I’ve been waiting for.

And in the beginning, it actually felt promising.

I already knew a lot of people, so I wasn’t completely thrown in the deep end.

And because I lead in a way that’s quite different — more people-first, more collaborative — I had a lot of support straight away.

There were people really rooting for me.

It felt… hopeful.

But wow.

It was exhausting.

The hours were long, the expectations were intense, and the unspoken message was:

Be everything to everyone, but don’t mess up. Because if you do…

Well, let’s just say the grace wasn’t there.

I tried to bring in new ideas.

Some were welcomed, some were shut down before they even had a chance to breathe.

And what I started to realise — painfully — was that no matter how much I showed up, no matter how much heart I brought in…

That system wasn’t built for it.

There wasn’t space for fresh ways.

There wasn’t space for doing things differently.

And definitely not for softness.

It was still very much command-and-control.

Top-down. Perform or be replaced.

No room for nuance. No room for being human.

And it wore me down.

It took so much from me — and at the end of the day, it didn’t really change anything.

But I still felt like I had to finish what I started, you know? So I applied for the ongoing role.

And — again — I didn’t get it.

This time, I wasn’t crushed. I was relieved.

The universe had stepped in again, just like it had before.

And I found myself back in the very role I’d been trying to escape.

Except…

this time, it felt different.

Some of the people were different. The energy was different.

It felt lighter. Safer. A little more me.

But I knew — deep down — that even though it was better… it still wasn’t my path. I was still playing small.

Still shrinking myself to fit a model that no longer fit me.

And I’ll be honest — I slipped right back into old patterns.

Overworking.

Overgiving.

Pushing through.

Trying to prove myself.

Again.

Until one day, I realised… I just couldn’t do it anymore.

And more importantly, I didn’t want to do it anymore.

I couldn’t keep building someone else’s vision — especially at the cost of my own.

That’s when it really dropped in:

I have to create this. For me.

For every woman who’s been in this same spiral.

Who’s tried to lead with heart and soul and been shut down, shut out, or just shut off from herself in the process.

That’s how The Natural Leader was born.

Not from a course. And not with a perfect brand.

But from experience. From the truth. From my trial and error.

From years of navigating the messy middle — and choosing to alchemise it.

Alchemising the messy middle

So let’s talk about what it really means to alchemise the messy middle —

because this isn’t just about surviving burnout or bouncing back after a disappointment.

It’s about how we reclaim ourselves — how we gather the pieces of who we are… and start to lead from that truth.

And I want to offer you something that’s supported me:

A simple but powerful framework I call the 3 Cs of Clarity.

It’s about coming back to yourself — piece by piece, gently and with love.

1. Compassion — Let yourself be where you are.

This is the piece most women skip — especially high-performing, heart-led leaders.

We want to solve it. Get out of the fog. Find a new plan. Fix the feeling.

But what if you didn’t rush to fix it?

What if you could offer yourself the compassion you so freely give everyone else?

Burnout, misalignment, and emotional fatigue — they’re not signs you’ve failed.

They’re signals.

Your body is speaking. Your soul is speaking.

And the first step is to listen without judgment.

It’s great to start with a simple journal prompt:

“What am I feeling — and can I let that be okay for now?”

That one sentence has unlocked so many tears, so much release.

Because we’re not used to letting things be not okay.

We think we have to be composed, and clear, and “together.”

But healing and clarity don’t live in performance. They live in presence.

Resource recommendation:

• Somatic Recalibration Meditation

Sometimes, the most compassionate thing you can do is stop and feel.

And that opens the door to the next C…

2. Curiosity — Asking yourself: What’s not actually mine?

After we’ve softened into compassion, we can start asking better questions.

Not “What’s wrong with me?”

But rather… “What am I carrying that isn’t actually mine?”

This one changed everything for me.

When I was in that misaligned executive role, I kept trying to “fix” the system —

When really, I needed to let go of the idea that I had to be the one to hold it all.

I was playing out internalised expectations of leadership that were never mine to begin with.

And this is also where Human Design was a game changer for me.

It gave me language for what I already felt:

That I was never meant to lead like them.

That I was never meant to override my sacral to follow strategy.

That most of the pressure I was feeling was not my own.

So I started asking:

• What rules am I following that don’t feel true?

• Where am I trying to prove myself?

• What expectations am I meeting that no one actually asked of me?

And once I got curious about that… I started to feel more free.

Let me give you another example:

I worked with a woman recently who was climbing the corporate ladder at lightning speed —but every step up felt heavier and more disconnected.

Through her Human Design reading, she realised:

She didn’t actually want to lead large teams.

She was brilliant in mentorship and project-based leadership.

So she restructured her work, let go of the “next promotion” goal, and found her energy again.

That’s the power of curiosity — it reveals what’s yours and what’s not.

Some resources to help you here:

• Your free personal Human Design Chart

• Leadership Superpowers Guide

• I also recommend the book ‘Untamed’ by Glennon Doyle — a beautiful breakdown of internalised roles we never questioned

3. Creativity — Clarity doesn’t come first. It comes THROUGH creation.

This one was the hardest for me to accept — because I’m someone who likes to know the plan.

But what I’ve learned, is that creativity doesn’t require clarity.

It creates it.

In fact, most of the time, my clearest ideas come from moments of low energy.

Of sitting in melancholy.

Of asking “what now?” and not rushing to answer it.

The Natural Leader was born in some of those moments.

I didn’t map it out in a business plan.

I felt it. I needed it.

And then I started to build it — slowly, imperfectly, with what I had.

So if you’re waiting until you “have it all figured out” before you start creating something new?

You’re going to be waiting forever.

Start small. Start scrappy.

Voice note your thoughts.

Write a post you’ll never publish.

Doodle a model.

Light a candle and sit in silence.

Make space for the idea to land.

So to recap… if you’re feeling stuck, lost, or unsure:

Step 1: Compassion — Let it be okay that you’re not okay.

Step 2: Curiosity — Gently explore what’s not yours.

Step 3: Creativity — Don’t wait for clarity. Create it.

This is how we lead in the new paradigm.

Not by pushing.

Not by forcing.

But by alchemising the mess into meaning.

So if you’re in this messy space right now — this tender, foggy, not-quite-there season…

✨ First of all, you are not alone.

This space is more common than you think — we just don’t talk about it enough.

And second — you don’t have to figure it out by yourself.

This is exactly what I created The Natural Leader Hub for.

Not to teach a formula.

Not to give you a one-size-fits-all strategy.

But to hold space for the becoming.

Inside the Hub, we meet you where you are — whether you’re burned out, searching,

softening, or starting something new.

Each month, you’ll get:

💫 New content - it might include a new tool, ritual, or reflection practice (like somatic resets, visualisation, or masterclasses)

💬 A live call where we reflect, recalibrate, and reconnect

🌀 Access to our growing content library with resources around Growth, Transformation, and Essence

👭 A private, conscious community of women leading differently — just like you

And there’s no pressure — it’s only $29/month, and you can cancel any time.

And if you’re not quite ready for the full membership, that’s totally okay.

I’ve got a few beautiful free resources to support wherever you are right now:

✨ If you want to understand your energy — You can grab your free Human Design chart + intro guide.

✨ If you’re stuck in the fog and your nervous system feels fried — you can grab my somatic recalibration meditation.

✨ Or, if you want really specific clarity on how YOU lead best — you can grab your personalised Human Design Leadership Report.

Whichever one speaks to you — it’s the right one.

Let your body choose.

This is the work.

Not surviving leadership…But redefining it — on your terms.

Before I go, I want to speak directly to the part of you that’s still in the thick of it.

The part that’s second-guessing everything.

The part that wonders if it’s all been a waste of time.

The part that wants to believe something new is coming… but still feels the ache of not knowing what.

You are not alone in that space.

Not even close.

So many women — especially heart-led, high-capacity leaders — find themselves in this exact moment at some point.

Where the old way no longer fits…

But the new way hasn’t fully formed.

That in-between is sacred.

It’s uncomfortable, yes.

It’s vulnerable, absolutely.

But it’s also creative. Fertile. Full of possibility.

This is the part we’ve been taught to rush through.

To numb. To bypass. To “figure out.”

But your clarity doesn’t come from rushing.

It comes from trusting —

From staying close to yourself when everything around you feels wobbly.

So if you’re in that space right now, I want to leave you with some questions to sit with — gently, without urgency:

What am I feeling — and can I be with that, even just for today?

What have I outgrown, even if I haven’t fully let go?

Where am I pretending I’m okay, just to keep others comfortable?

And what might be waiting for me, if I let go of needing all the answers?

These aren’t questions you have to solve.

They’re invitations.

To soften. To slow down. To return.

Because what I know for sure is this:

🌀 The answers will come.

💫 The clarity will land.

🔥 And the woman you’re becoming will thank you for not abandoning her in this moment.

If you’re craving a space where you can be held in this process —

where your leadership, your softness, your desire, and your breakdowns are all welcome — come and join us inside The Natural Leader Hub.

It’s a space to heal, to experiment, and to rise — in a way that’s true for you.

And finally, if this episode resonated, please share it.

Tag me. Message me. Let me know how it landed.

These conversations matter — and your presence here makes a difference.

Thank you for letting me walk this part of the path with you.

It’s an honour I don’t take lightly.

You are already leading — in how you listen, in how you feel, in how you keep showing up.

Keep trusting.

Keep creating.

Keep becoming.

I’m so, so glad you’re here. 💛

Connect & Continue the Conversation

📍 Follow me on Instagram: @freshcollective_il

🌎 Explore more leadership insights: www.freshcollective.au

🌟 Join The Natural Leader Hub!

💬 What resonated with you most in this episode? Comment below or message me on Instagram—I’d love to hear your thoughts!