Ep 8 - From Performance to Purpose: A New Model for Authentic Leadership

Lindsey Hilliard
Apr 4
11 min read

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Episode Summary

Have you ever felt like you’re constantly performing—like you have to prove your worth, please everyone, or perfect every detail just to be taken seriously as a leader? You’re not alone.

In this episode of The Natural Leader Podcast, we explore why so many brilliant women are stuck in performance energy—and what it’s costing us in presence, peace, and power.

Full Episode Transcript

Today’s episode is deeply personal. It’s one that I know many of you will feel right down to your bones.

It’s for the woman who’s done everything right.

The woman who’s built the career, the reputation, the perfectly curated life—but who still feels like she’s on all the time.

Like she’s stuck performing instead of truly being.

I believe there comes a time when we finally say, “Enough.”

Enough proving.

Enough pleasing.

Enough perfecting.

It’s time to lead from a different place—a more powerful one. And today, I’m going to show you how.

Signs You’re Still Stuck in Performance Energy

Let’s begin with an honest check-in.

Performance energy is sneaky. It’s the part of you that looks polished and composed, even when you’re exhausted.

It’s what keeps you chasing more—more impact, more validation, more “success”—even when your body is whispering slow down.

Here are some signs you might still be stuck in performance mode:

You feel like you always need to prove yourself—your worth, your value, your competence.
You keep pushing through, even when you’re tired, because resting makes you feel guilty.
You feel pressure to be the good girl, the strong one, or the high achiever—no matter the cost.
You say yes to things you don’t have the energy for, because you don’t want to disappoint anyone.
You overthink what you say, how you show up, and how you’ll be perceived.
Your achievements feel... hollow. Like no matter how much you do, it’s never quite enough.

This is performance energy.

And it’s not just tiring—it’s disconnecting. It pulls you away from your truth, your presence, your power.

Because when you’re performing, you’re not actually in your body. You’re not leading from presence.

You’re leading from a place of fear.

Fear of not being enough.

Fear of not being taken seriously.

Fear of what will happen if you stop holding everything together.

But instead of performing, why aren’t we embodying?

Why aren’t we trusting that who we are—without the masks, without the constant proving—is already powerful enough?

And maybe even more impactful than the version of us that’s always “on.”

Because true leadership isn’t about being the best.

It’s about being true.

Being real.

Being whole.

And that begins with reclaiming your own rhythm and letting go of the performance.

The Nervous System Cost of Proving, Pleasing, and Perfection

Here’s something we don’t talk about enough:

Performance isn’t just a mindset. It’s a nervous system pattern.

If you've spent your life needing to prove yourself, trying to please everyone, or chasing perfection, your body has been absorbing that story.

It's been operating in a constant state of alert—a kind of subtle, chronic stress that becomes your normal.

This isn’t just about burnout. It’s deeper than that. It’s what happens when your nervous system is stuck in a pattern of “If I don’t keep performing, I won’t be safe.”

Because somewhere along the line, your brain—and your body—learned that survival meant being liked, being impressive, being useful.

So what does that actually look like?

It looks like being in fight or flight all the time—even if you're calm on the outside.
It looks like overcommitting, even when you're depleted.
It looks like not trusting that who you are is enough without the extras.
It looks like tight shoulders, shallow breath, and sleepless nights—all from the pressure to be more, do more, control more.

And it’s not just mental exhaustion. This kind of nervous system dysregulation can show up as:

Chronic fatigue
Autoimmune flares
Digestive issues
Anxiety or emotional numbness
Inability to rest, even when you want to

Your body knows when you’re performing instead of embodying. It registers the disconnect and sounds the alarm.

And for so many women in leadership—especially those who've risen in systems not designed for their energy—this pressure to keep up, to hold it all together, to never show weakness... it breaks us down.

But here's the good news:

You can retrain your nervous system to lead from a different place. From a place of presence, not performance. From authenticity, not approval-seeking.

It starts with awareness.

With recognising when your body is in “prove mode.” With asking:

Am I doing this from alignment… or from anxiety?
Am I seeking connection… or validation?
Am I leading from grounded power… or from a fear of being judged?

The natural leader doesn’t override her nervous system.

She listens to it. She responds with curiosity, not criticism. And she knows that true leadership begins in the body—not in the performance.

Even now, after all my learning, I still catch myself slipping into old patterns.

It's not about being perfect—it’s about noticing, and gently coming back to myself.

Returning to Your Rhythm + Leading from Presence

So what’s the alternative?

If we’re not performing anymore—if we’re no longer proving, pleasing, or perfecting—what do we do instead?

We return to our own rhythm.

We lead from presence.

We start to notice and trust our own natural pace instead of trying to match someone else’s.

For many high-achieving women, this can feel wildly uncomfortable at first.

Especially if you’ve always been rewarded for being fast, efficient, or responsive.

If you’re used to being ahead of the game, then slowing down can feel like falling behind.

But what if that wasn’t true?

What if your natural rhythm wasn’t a weakness—but your greatest strength?

Let’s pause and really feel into that.

Because when you stop performing and return to your own rhythm, something extraordinary happens:

You stop hustling for clarity—and start receiving insight.
You stop chasing results—and start creating resonance.
You stop trying to force alignment—and start feeling aligned.

Presence is powerful. Not because it’s loud or commanding, but because it’s rooted.

And that’s where your truest leadership lives.

Not in your output.

Not in your efficiency.

But in your ability to be in your body, attuned to your energy, your emotions, your environment—and your impact.

When you’re present with yourself, others feel it.

They feel safer.
They feel seen.
They feel inspired—not by your words or your title, but by your state.

That’s the power of rhythm-based leadership.

It doesn’t race.

It doesn’t rush.

It moves with intention and integrity.

It honours cycles, pauses, and shifts.

It leaves room for reflection, recalibration, and refinement.

In my own life, coming back to my rhythm means redefining success altogether.

It means asking questions like:

What do I need right now to feel grounded and in flow?
Where am I leaking energy trying to keep up with someone else’s pace?
What would it feel like to work with my energy instead of against it?

Sometimes that answer is action. Sometimes it’s rest. Sometimes it’s realignment.

But always—always—it’s about coming back home to yourself.

And from that place?

You lead not by performance, but by presence.

Introducing The New Model ofr Authentic Leadership

So… if you’re no longer performing—what now?

This is the question I’ve asked myself over and over to stop trying to lead like everyone else.

When I let go of the strategies, the templates, the “shoulds.”

When I follow what feels right—not what is expected.

But it doesn’t happen in one moment.

It is a process. A returning.

And it’s this process that led me to develop what I now call The Natural Leader Model.

The Natural Leader Model is about uncovering who you are.

It’s not about becoming better—it’s about becoming more of who you already are.

And that’s where energy comes in.

Because—if you listened to last week’s episode—you’ll know that everything begins with energy.

Your energy affects everything:

Your physical health
Your emotions
Your thoughts
Your behaviours
Your capacity to lead, to connect, to hold space, to create…

So the question becomes:

How do you lead in a way that supports, rather than drains, your energy?

The answer: you start with yourself.

You start with awareness.

You start with trust.

You start by understanding what makes you you.

And that’s exactly where The Natural Leader Model begins.

The Three Pillars of The Natural Leader Model

Imagine three concentric circles—like ripples expanding outward (like when you drop a pebble into water).

At the centre is your energy.

From that centre, the model unfolds across three key pillars:

Growth
Transformation
Essence

We’ll start with Growth, because this is the foundation.

Growth is about developing deep Self-Awareness, rebuilding Self-Trust, and owning your Uniqueness.

Self-Awareness - is where you start noticing your patterns.

The way you respond under pressure.

The energy cycles you move through.

The strategies you’ve picked up that might not be yours.

Self-awareness is powerful because you can’t change what you can’t see.

And this is where tools like Human Design come in.

Human Design gives you a clear blueprint of how your energy operates.

How you’re designed to make decisions, communicate, lead, and thrive.

It doesn’t tell you who to be—it helps you remember who you are.

Once you start seeing yourself clearly, the next step is learning to trust what you see.

This means honouring your body’s wisdom.

It means trusting your intuitive hits.

It means knowing when to rest, when to move, when to say yes, and when to say no.

This is not always easy.

But the more you honour your inner truth, the stronger you and your leadership becomes—because it’s no longer based on performance.

It’s based on alignment - being connected to your truth.

And finally, Growth means embracing your uniqueness - that is, what makes you you.

This isn’t about standing out for the sake of being different—it’s about belonging to yourself so deeply that comparison no longer has power over you.

You stop trying to copy others.

You stop hustling to fit into a mould.

And you start leading in a way that actually works for you.

If the Growth circle is about self-awareness, trust, and uniqueness—then Transformation is what happens when you start living from those truths.

Transformation is the messy middle.

It’s the unraveling.

The unbecoming.

The part where you look at all the things you were told to be—strong, agreeable, perfect, high-achieving—and ask, “Who would I be without all of that?”

The three key themes in the Transformation circle are: Embodiment, Vision, and Purpose.

Let’s start with embodiment.

To me, embodiment means living the truth you’ve uncovered.

It’s the difference between knowing your values and actually honouring them in your daily actions.

It’s feeling your emotions in your body instead of bypassing them.

It’s leading from your body’s intelligence—not just your mind.

Embodiment is what keeps leadership real.

Without it, we’re just repeating scripts or regurgitating what we’ve learned from others.

But when we’re embodied, we become magnetic.

Because people feel it.

They trust it.

They respond to it.

Next is vision.

Every true leader has a vision—whether it’s for a team, a community, a movement, or simply for their own life.

But vision doesn’t have to be grand or loud.

It doesn’t have to be about world domination or billion-dollar revenue.

Your vision can be simple, soulful, and quietly revolutionary.

The key is that it comes from within—not from what you think success should look like.

This is why the Growth circle needs to come first—if you don’t know yourself, you can’t access a true vision.

You'll keep chasing someone else’s dream instead of creating your own.

And finally, we have purpose.

Purpose isn’t just what you do—it’s who you are when you’re fully expressed.

It’s the thing that makes your heart beat faster, that pulls you forward even when things are tough.

But for so many women, especially those stuck in performance energy, purpose has become tangled with productivity.

We think if we’re not doing enough, we’re not being purposeful.

But your purpose doesn’t need to be proven.

It’s an energy.

A frequency.

A way of being.

And when you embody your vision and live from that deeper place of alignment, your purpose starts revealing itself naturally.

And that leads us into the final circle—Essence.

If Growth is your roots and Transformation is your unfolding, Essence is your radiance.

It’s the frequency you emit when you are fully aligned with who you are, what you’re here to do, and how you’re meant to express it.

The Essence circle holds the themes of Harmony, Creativity, and Manifestation.

Let’s begin with harmony.

Harmony isn’t about people-pleasing.

It’s not about keeping the peace at your own expense.

Harmony is a deep inner congruence—where your inner world matches your outer expression.

It’s when your actions, your values, your decisions, and your energy are all on the same wavelength.

When you’re in harmony with yourself, you don’t have to fight for respect.

You don’t have to chase credibility.

Your energy speaks for you.

And when a team or group of people come together with this kind of harmony—it’s powerful.

Then comes creativity.

This is one of the most undervalued leadership qualities.

Creativity isn’t just for artists.

It’s the fuel of innovation. I am at my most happiest when I am in a creative flow.

No doubt about it.

It’s what allows us to lead in new ways, to build fresh systems, and to solve problems that old methods couldn’t.

When you’re connected to your Essence, your creativity flourishes—not because you’re trying to be different, but because you’re tapped into something bigger than you.

Something more intuitive.

More inspired.

And lastly, we have manifestation.

Now I know the word ‘manifestation’ can come with a lot of baggage.

But in its purest form, it’s simply this: the energetic becoming physical.

It’s about what happens when your inner alignment meets action.

When the ideas, visions, and energy you’ve cultivated in the Growth and Transformation circles begin to take shape in the real world.

This is the moment where you start to see the results of your alignment.

The new job offer.

The team dynamic that just works.

The client who lands in your inbox saying, “I don’t know why, but I felt drawn to you.”

That’s not magic. That’s alignment. That’s Essence.

And if you’re ready to explore this more deeply—not just in your mind, but in your body, your energy, and your leadership—then I want to personally invite you into a space I’ve been building with so much intention:

The Natural Leader Hub.

This is my monthly membership community for women who are done with leadership models that leave them feeling drained, disconnected, or like they have to pretend to be someone they’re not.

This space is for women who are ready to do things differently.

Inside the Hub, we take everything I’ve been talking about on this podcast and go deeper:

We explore the Natural Leader Model—not as a fixed strategy, but as a living, breathing framework that evolves with you.
We unpack your Human Design so you can understand your unique energy blueprint and how to work with it—rather than against it.
We focus on embodied leadership—where we don’t just learn new ways of leading, we live them.
We support one another in letting go of the hustle, the proving, and the perfection—and instead, leading from a place of wholeness, presence, and ease.

It’s a dynamic space for ongoing integration, growth, and alignment—at a pace that honours your energy and your rhythm.

Every month, I drop fresh content—whether that’s a new masterclass, behind-the-scenes lessons from my own leadership journey, practical tools for applying your Human Design, or guided reconditioning practices to help you release the conditioning that’s been holding you back.

You’ll also get access to a like-hearted community of women who are brave enough to lead differently—women who are curious, real, and here to make an impact in a way that feels good in their body and aligned in their soul.

And right now, we’ve just launched the Introduction and Self-Awareness modules—so if you join now as a founding member, not only do you get locked into the launch price of just $29 per month (forever), but you also get to help shape the direction of this space as it grows.

You’ll be able to share what you’re struggling with in real time—so I can respond and build modules, tools, and resources that actually support you where you are.

If you wait, you’ll still be welcome—but you’ll miss that beautiful chance to help co-create this work and guide where it goes.

And if you’re in a small team or leadership group, I encourage you to join together.

Imagine walking through this journey side by side—having the same language, the same tools, and the same permission to evolve not just as individuals, but as a collective.

Because that’s what we’re building here—a collective of natural leaders.

So if your curiosity is sparked, if you’re ready to lead from your wholeness, and if you want to be part of something fresh, real, and deeply transformative—

Come and join us.

You can find all the details at https://www.freshcollective.au/tnlhub

This isn’t just a membership.

It’s a new era of leadership.

And you’re invited.

I see you and appreciate you.

Linds 🌟

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